The Cuckening
"You talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up..." The Cuckening was an incident of inconceivable faggotry and betrayal and specifically refers to the events which caused an exodus of some of the greatest Mumble users in history from their previous home. While obviously a tragedy for all those involved, it did indirectly bring about the creation of the new Mumble and the arrival of users Sir and Torres to the group. (Note: despite the time that has passed, new information continues to surface relating to the incident. This information, while sometimes secondhand and/or hearsay, is fact-checked, confirmed and re-confirmed regularly to maintain the integrity of the chain of events.) Summary A friend of Sir's (Lee) introduced his lady-friend (Kips) to Oats' Mumble. Oats then tried to do some seriously fucked up shit and conspired to steal her out from under Lee's nose. Having successfully done aforementioned fucked up shit, but now wanting to piss anyone off because his ego is dependent on the approval of as many people as possible, Oats informed Lee of his BS and asked if everything was cool. It wasn't, so Lee informed his ultra-bestie Sir what happened, they both told Oats to fuck off, and then they rode off into the sunset leaving the now ruined Mumble behind them. They both lived happily ever after; getting smarter, eating red meat, drinking alcohol, and being successful at life in general while Oats sat at home and became a failure of a human being whilst jerking off in his basement to a shit-ton of fucked up porn. Description (For those who like to read a lot) During the winter of 2014/2015, while still regularly utilizing Oats' Mumble, an individual by the name of Lee (name changed to protect anonymity) introduced Kips, a high-school friend and at the time potential romantic interest, to his friends there. Kips was universally liked by all and quickly fell into the sights of notorious womanizer, Oats. Lee, knowing of Oats' longstanding track record of degeneracy, instructed him to keep his distance from Kips to try and prevent any patty-finger behavior. Oats, being a complete slave to his dick and having no regard to his friend, betrayed the trust given to him and immediately began secretly courting Kips behind Lee's back. This behavior went on for roughly 1-2 months before their relationship became unofficially "official" enough to be public knowledge. In an attempt to reconcile any guilt that he may or may not have had as a result of his actions, Oats informed Lee of his new romantic relationship with Kips and asked for Lee's blessing in an attempt to continue courting Kips while retaining Lee as a friend. Naturally, Lee was furious at the gall of such an act and from then on began separating himself from both Oats and his Mumble. It was at this point that Lee informed Sir of the events that had transpired. Sir, having grown up and been friends with Lee for the overwhelming majority of their lives, was equally upset at the betrayal and he too vowed to never return to the God-forsaken Mumble. Prior to leaving for good and relinquishing his administrative powers in Oats' Mumble, Sir manipulated the admin list and created a secret back-door into the server which would later be used to collect incriminating evidence against Oats. Sir then informed Oats that he would no longer stand by while he continued to act without regard for the consequences and left the Mumble. Having been the only person in the Mumble that Oats was unable to manipulate and control, it gave him the opportunity to begin a smear campaign against Sir in a childish attempt to ruin his pristine reputation with many mutual acquaintances. This plan failed miserably and everyone became aware of Oats' deception and betrayal of Lee, one of the most universally loved individuals to ever reside in his Mumble. To this day, Oats harbors a deep hatred for Sir and a secret longing to rekindle his friendship with Lee, a curious set of emotions that the latter individuals exploit for laughs and humiliation. Further details on the event can be learned by speaking with Cuckening Loremaster Sir. Your Responsibility As a result of this drama garbage, it is the responsibility of all users of the Mumble to tell Oats to fuck off at every possible opportunity whilst he is in the Mumble. Be sure to make fun of his fedora, horrible moral code, and degenerate life choices in general. You're making the Mumble and by extension the world a better place.